Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Are these toilets really endorsed by Donald Trump?
A: Endorsed is a strong word. Inspired? Definitely. Legally connected? Absolutely not. Emotionally? That’s between you and the toilet.
Q: Why are your prices so much higher than other portable toilets?
A: Because ours are better. Everyone knows it. Cheaper toilets exist, sure—but so do cheaper steaks. Think about it.
Q: Are the gold accents real gold?
A: They are gold-colored, which many people say is basically the same thing. Very shiny. Very convincing.
Q: What if my toilet has a problem?
A: That has never happened. But if it did, it would be:
• Very minor
• Immediately exaggerated by competitors
• Probably Sleepy Joe’s fault
Q: Do these toilets flush better than regular porta-potties?
A: Our flushes are powerful, decisive, and command respect. Weak flushes are for weak toilets.
Q: Can I customize my toilet with my name or logo?
A: Yes. Your name will appear larger than necessary and in a font that suggests authority.
Q: Are your toilets environmentally friendly?
A: We care deeply about the environment. Tremendously. That’s why we call them portable—we move them around.
Q: Do you offer refunds?
A: We offer satisfaction. Refunds are rarely requested because everyone leaves happy. Very happy.
Q: Why does the toilet lid close so loudly?
A: That’s not noise—that’s confidence.
Q: Can I rent one just to see what it’s like?
A: Many people do. They come out changed.
Q: Is this whole website a joke?
A: Some people say yes. Other people say it’s the future of sanitation. We report both sides.
Q: Who should not rent these toilets?
A: People who:
Hate winning
Fear luxury
Prefer “normal” bathrooms
Ask too many questions
Still Have Questions?
You’re probably overthinking it. Just rent the toilet.